My story is a very long one when it comes to breastfeeding that I will share parts of from time to time in my coming blogs - I have three children, and I have struggled to feed all three. It wasn't until after my second that I twigged that something just wasn't right. I ended up looking into IGT (Insufficient Glandular Tissue) - something I hadn't done before because everyone told there was no way I'd have it as a only a small percent of women have it and that I would have to be terribly unlucky. Once I went looking on good ol Google friend, I soon realised that in fact that is what I had. I have all the visual markers along with low supply when breastfeeding.
In the time when I figured this out and having my third baby, I went through so many emotions from 'No, my breasts are fine, I'm just making up something thats not there' to ' Wow, my breasts are dud boobs - I can't feed my babies'. When I fell pregnant with number three, I joined a facebook group about IGT and chronic low supply mums. I learnt so much including every single remedy known to man to help boost supply.
I also read about so many heartbreaking stories of mums so desperately wanting to breastfeed their babies they go to extreme lengths to experience the bonding that comes through breastfeeding. Some may say - 'You can get the same bonding through formula feeding', but unless you have experienced this type of loss - where it is taken away from you within the first few days or weeks without personal choice; its really hard to help people understand that it is a really heartbreaking thing to not being able to feed your baby. I do however have a few very close friends who have been by my side with all three children and have witnessed first hand the pain it causes - and through this they understand that this truly devastating to a mum - we get no choice.
One thing that can help with breastfeeding with IGT is to have a drug free birth. So, I hired a doula (who was also an independent mid-wife) and planned a drug free birth. Our birth went almost to plan - it was a very fast one hour labour, but now a few months the other side of it - I wouldn't trade that experience for the world. I remember birthing on all fours - then they passed him to me through my legs, I was trembling and just so desperately wanted to hold him so close. Thank fully we have a photo of this moment - I still choke up when I see it.
I fed and fed him, he was born a strong sucker who was instantly ravenous. While in he hospital he was my first baby to not loose more then 10%, so I went home thinking that maybe I had it wrong, maybe I could feed him. And I did - for 3 weeks, then he started urinating urates, and extremely hungry no matter how much I fed him. I had to make the heartbreaking decision to start comping him, so I chose donor milk from friends this time. Eventually we went to formula for a while and now at almost 3 months on we are getting donor milk most of the time and formula in between. I have stopped stressing about my supply, and I feed him on the breast every time before a bottle, and any other time he is unsettled and my favourite - I feed him to sleep. We have times where he doesn't have much comping and other days where I just can't keep up - no matter what I do. I am coming to terms that this is just how it is, and my lactation consultant said in a very supportive voice 'Comping might just be part of your breastfeeding relationship - not instead of'. So, I feed him all the time, and comp in between. I am enjoying getting to know him in a different way then I knew my other two.
There are still days where I cry because he feeds and feeds and nothing comes. I think and wish that things were different. Why me? Why do I have to be in the 2% of women? Then I am reminded that all the trials in this life can always turn around to help to others. So, I share my story, my pain, my knowledge...
The Reflective Mum xx
In the time when I figured this out and having my third baby, I went through so many emotions from 'No, my breasts are fine, I'm just making up something thats not there' to ' Wow, my breasts are dud boobs - I can't feed my babies'. When I fell pregnant with number three, I joined a facebook group about IGT and chronic low supply mums. I learnt so much including every single remedy known to man to help boost supply.
I also read about so many heartbreaking stories of mums so desperately wanting to breastfeed their babies they go to extreme lengths to experience the bonding that comes through breastfeeding. Some may say - 'You can get the same bonding through formula feeding', but unless you have experienced this type of loss - where it is taken away from you within the first few days or weeks without personal choice; its really hard to help people understand that it is a really heartbreaking thing to not being able to feed your baby. I do however have a few very close friends who have been by my side with all three children and have witnessed first hand the pain it causes - and through this they understand that this truly devastating to a mum - we get no choice.
One thing that can help with breastfeeding with IGT is to have a drug free birth. So, I hired a doula (who was also an independent mid-wife) and planned a drug free birth. Our birth went almost to plan - it was a very fast one hour labour, but now a few months the other side of it - I wouldn't trade that experience for the world. I remember birthing on all fours - then they passed him to me through my legs, I was trembling and just so desperately wanted to hold him so close. Thank fully we have a photo of this moment - I still choke up when I see it.
I fed and fed him, he was born a strong sucker who was instantly ravenous. While in he hospital he was my first baby to not loose more then 10%, so I went home thinking that maybe I had it wrong, maybe I could feed him. And I did - for 3 weeks, then he started urinating urates, and extremely hungry no matter how much I fed him. I had to make the heartbreaking decision to start comping him, so I chose donor milk from friends this time. Eventually we went to formula for a while and now at almost 3 months on we are getting donor milk most of the time and formula in between. I have stopped stressing about my supply, and I feed him on the breast every time before a bottle, and any other time he is unsettled and my favourite - I feed him to sleep. We have times where he doesn't have much comping and other days where I just can't keep up - no matter what I do. I am coming to terms that this is just how it is, and my lactation consultant said in a very supportive voice 'Comping might just be part of your breastfeeding relationship - not instead of'. So, I feed him all the time, and comp in between. I am enjoying getting to know him in a different way then I knew my other two.
There are still days where I cry because he feeds and feeds and nothing comes. I think and wish that things were different. Why me? Why do I have to be in the 2% of women? Then I am reminded that all the trials in this life can always turn around to help to others. So, I share my story, my pain, my knowledge...
The Reflective Mum xx
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