6 weeks post childbirth bouncing my baby in his bouncer with my foot hoping he will sleep another hour just so my boobs get a bit of a break. Topless at my computer desk, scoffing a piece of cold toast and a crap cup of tea I find myself writing about my breastfeeding experience to date.
I am exhausted not just tired. Not the tired you are when you are pregnant or you had a few big nights out I am so run down physically and emotionally. I would say the latter being emotionally more so than physically.
Where do I start...
Ok in hospital; My birth was a c section not by choice. Our baby was breech from 32 weeks onwards my plans of a natural drug free labour were gone. However thats another post in itself. Once I was met with my baby in my un complicated amazing birth experience he was placed right on my chest while I was being "put back together'. We had skin to skin contact for 4 hours post delivery. I got to give him his first feed in recovery. However looking back I don't think if I did not get this chance there would have been an issue as some professionals say with the importance of the first breast feed being in the first hour. I had a friend give birth to a 4 week premie and had to express for the first 10 days then her baby took to the breast like a natural.
For me I found the beginning easy, those first few days in hospital I took all the support I could.
It was coming home where I started to struggle. He just wanted to feed feed feed. People start to throw their opinons and judgement out there right away. I exclusively breastfeed for 3 weeks. When the health nurse visited I was such a mess. Cracked bleeding nipples, burning sensations and I was just down right tired. Feeding 2 hourly around the clock. I posted "is it normal" Here is where it follows over! Is it normal for a baby to feed every 2 hours? What I have learnt about breastfeeding just like pregnancy there is no normal. Babies can feed for 5 minutes every 3-4 hours and gain so much weight, others like mine can feed for 30 plus minutes every 2 hours and baby does not gain enough weight.
I was so stressed out with info flying at me from everywhere. What I chose to do in a stressed out moment was give a formula "top up" then magic happened he slept 3 or 4 hours. I thought this was the answer. So for the following 2 weeks I kept breast-feeding every 3-4 hours then offering 40-60 mils of formula. What happened next I was not expecting.
Bub took a U turn and started to wake every 2 hours screaming. I had to stop and look at what I was doing. Was it suiting us and more importantly him. Some people can mix feed 50/50 and have no issues. We once again were not one of them. He had become constipated, had bad wind and re flux, I turned to breastfeeding friends for support and re assurance about my feeding and then I took a big risk.
Just a week ago I cut out almost all his formula over night. Yes he started to feed like a trooper again but it only lasted 2 days. My milk supply was building as was my confidence in myself and my abilities. I started to drink a LOT more water and eat more veggies and more uncle Toby's oats. Look up oats for breastfeeding mums if your looking to build your supply. I am still unsure if he has gained weight as his next weigh in is not for a few more days. However I feel confident he is getting enough.
It has taken 6 long tiering weeks to get to today, yet I am still having days where I want to quit. I read about other mums with formula fed babies sleeping much longer and them being happier. However I then stop to think about the benefits of breastfeeding. Like being in a shopping centre and running for the mothers room and being able to have their food on tap! That is by far the biggest. Then all those good anti bodies they are getting and being winter now I am more confident he is going to stay well. Also the other benefits like the statistics of breastfed babies believe what you want to however it is something positive to read that breastfed babies are less likely to suffer so many illnesses and less likely to become obese. For me the benefit has been weight loss. I am almost pre pregnancy size and I put this down to all the sleepless nights and cracked nipples! If I had to give my partner $1 for every time I have said I am giving up he would have thousands by now! I am taking each day as it comes right now my goal is 8 weeks. When I make it there in 10 days time I can re asses my next breastfeeding goal.
My baby boy Archer is now 90% breastfed with usually 2 top ups of only 40 mils each. I only offer these if he is just so un settled and I feel like I am loosing my mind.
I am looking forward to seeing if he has continued to gain good amounts of weight as he was when he was getting 50/50 breast and formula. I hope my story helps at lest one mum or soon to be mum understand that they are not alone and nothing is normal in breastfeeding and for some people like myself it does not feel as though it is natural or that it just came so naturally. I am hoping I can check back in next week and post good news about great weight gain and breastfeeding continually getting easier.
Rachael.
I am exhausted not just tired. Not the tired you are when you are pregnant or you had a few big nights out I am so run down physically and emotionally. I would say the latter being emotionally more so than physically.
Where do I start...
Ok in hospital; My birth was a c section not by choice. Our baby was breech from 32 weeks onwards my plans of a natural drug free labour were gone. However thats another post in itself. Once I was met with my baby in my un complicated amazing birth experience he was placed right on my chest while I was being "put back together'. We had skin to skin contact for 4 hours post delivery. I got to give him his first feed in recovery. However looking back I don't think if I did not get this chance there would have been an issue as some professionals say with the importance of the first breast feed being in the first hour. I had a friend give birth to a 4 week premie and had to express for the first 10 days then her baby took to the breast like a natural.
For me I found the beginning easy, those first few days in hospital I took all the support I could.
It was coming home where I started to struggle. He just wanted to feed feed feed. People start to throw their opinons and judgement out there right away. I exclusively breastfeed for 3 weeks. When the health nurse visited I was such a mess. Cracked bleeding nipples, burning sensations and I was just down right tired. Feeding 2 hourly around the clock. I posted "is it normal" Here is where it follows over! Is it normal for a baby to feed every 2 hours? What I have learnt about breastfeeding just like pregnancy there is no normal. Babies can feed for 5 minutes every 3-4 hours and gain so much weight, others like mine can feed for 30 plus minutes every 2 hours and baby does not gain enough weight.
I was so stressed out with info flying at me from everywhere. What I chose to do in a stressed out moment was give a formula "top up" then magic happened he slept 3 or 4 hours. I thought this was the answer. So for the following 2 weeks I kept breast-feeding every 3-4 hours then offering 40-60 mils of formula. What happened next I was not expecting.
Bub took a U turn and started to wake every 2 hours screaming. I had to stop and look at what I was doing. Was it suiting us and more importantly him. Some people can mix feed 50/50 and have no issues. We once again were not one of them. He had become constipated, had bad wind and re flux, I turned to breastfeeding friends for support and re assurance about my feeding and then I took a big risk.
Just a week ago I cut out almost all his formula over night. Yes he started to feed like a trooper again but it only lasted 2 days. My milk supply was building as was my confidence in myself and my abilities. I started to drink a LOT more water and eat more veggies and more uncle Toby's oats. Look up oats for breastfeeding mums if your looking to build your supply. I am still unsure if he has gained weight as his next weigh in is not for a few more days. However I feel confident he is getting enough.
It has taken 6 long tiering weeks to get to today, yet I am still having days where I want to quit. I read about other mums with formula fed babies sleeping much longer and them being happier. However I then stop to think about the benefits of breastfeeding. Like being in a shopping centre and running for the mothers room and being able to have their food on tap! That is by far the biggest. Then all those good anti bodies they are getting and being winter now I am more confident he is going to stay well. Also the other benefits like the statistics of breastfed babies believe what you want to however it is something positive to read that breastfed babies are less likely to suffer so many illnesses and less likely to become obese. For me the benefit has been weight loss. I am almost pre pregnancy size and I put this down to all the sleepless nights and cracked nipples! If I had to give my partner $1 for every time I have said I am giving up he would have thousands by now! I am taking each day as it comes right now my goal is 8 weeks. When I make it there in 10 days time I can re asses my next breastfeeding goal.
My baby boy Archer is now 90% breastfed with usually 2 top ups of only 40 mils each. I only offer these if he is just so un settled and I feel like I am loosing my mind.
I am looking forward to seeing if he has continued to gain good amounts of weight as he was when he was getting 50/50 breast and formula. I hope my story helps at lest one mum or soon to be mum understand that they are not alone and nothing is normal in breastfeeding and for some people like myself it does not feel as though it is natural or that it just came so naturally. I am hoping I can check back in next week and post good news about great weight gain and breastfeeding continually getting easier.
Rachael.
RSS Feed