Monday: Sleep Clinic Visit
Today was awesome! I learned so much about sleep and understand a little of what I have been doing wrong. What a fantastic free resource we have available!
The whole reason I ended up going to a sleep clinic is because my baby, although a great night sleeper, is a shocker when it comes to day sleep. He has never slept well in his cot, if at all. So he’s been sleeping on the go – in the pram, the car, the bouncer (although he’s too big for that now) and in the carrier. Obviously this is not going to work long term. Plus it means I haven’t been getting any down time during the day. Bub needs good quality sleep so it is in everyone’s best interest to get on top of this and early. Otherwise this could be an ongoing issue for years to come. Why wait?
I think my main problem has been failing to recognise the early sleep signs. Poor bub has just been getting more and more tired and therefore it’s been getting harder and harder for him to get to sleep. Apparently he has weeks of sleep to catch up on. I feel bad about that. But I can’t dwell on it. The best thing I can do is take on board the information I learned today and put it to good use.
So what did I learn? That I need to stop clock watching. I’ve been so confused as I’ve read the typical awake time for a six-month-old is about 1.5 to 2 hours. I also know what the sleep signs are on paper such as rubbing eyes, yawning, squealing, jerky movements, and so on. But these signs are usually displayed almost immediately after bub has woken up so I haven’t thought they were reliable. These signs conflict with what is supposed to be his allotted awake time. Even as I write this I feel a little stupid as I now know better, but surely I’m not the only one that has struggled with this conflicting information?!
When the staff at the sleep clinic told me almost immediately upon arrival that my baby was tired even though he slept in the car on the way to the clinic, I couldn’t help but question them. “He’s just had a sleep though.”
“See how his head is dropping and his movements are jerky? He’s ready to go down.”
Oh. Here I was thinking that we’d have two hours of fluffing around while waiting for bub to become tired. But I was there to learn so I gave myself fully to the process and help that was on offer.
The general putting-to-sleep routine taught at the clinic was firstly to act immediately upon seeing the first sleep sign. (They had to go over the sleep signs with me as I had taught myself not to trust them.) Put some calm music on, darken the room, talk to bub in a calm and soothing voice and put him down. There is no special art to it, you just put him down and walk away. He of course cried because he’s not used to that happening. After a little while (five minutes or whatever you can stand) go back in and either pat him, pat the bed or stroke his head – whatever your child tends to respond to. Reassure him in a calm tone saying things like “You’re ok,” and so on. Do that for a bit and then leave the room again. While out of the room, listen to the type of crying and assess your next move based on that. If he continues to scream, then obviously go back in – but after letting him cry a little. It’s important to go in regularly to reassure your child so they know that you are not far away. If it’s just a grizzle then let them keep going. The idea is to continue with this for an hour. An hour!!! Fortunately bub fell asleep just 45 minutes. What a marathon. If bub wakes after only one sleep cycle (that’s all my bub will do during the day), go in and attempt to resettle using the same techniques just mentioned. This time give it 20 minutes before giving up. He never went on to do a second sleep cycle for me while at the clinic L. Then you get bub up for some playtime and start all over again.
While chatting to the nurse and social worker, I expressed that I often doubt my ability to know if bub is tired. “For the time being, if in doubt, put him down,” the lady told me. “Really? Even if he’s only been up for 15 minutes?” I asked. “Well, what’s the worst that could happen if you put him down and he’s not tired,” she questioned? “He’ll scream for an hour.” “Actually, if he’s screaming that means he is tired. If he’s not tired and you put him down he will happily play in his cot on his own.” Well, that actually made sense and gave me some confidence to put him down more often. When he has resisted so strongly in the past I’ve foolishly thought, “I guess I was wrong about him being tired.” Feeling a little stupid for thinking that now.
I was at the clinic all day and I don’t think my child was out of the cot for more than 20 minutes at a time. They explained to me that this will likely continue to be his pattern until he catches up on sleep. Once he’s caught up, then I will learn if he needs more or less sleep than the average baby. But until he’s caught up (how will I know that by the way?) he’s likely to display sleep signs shortly after waking. And I’m going to feel like he’s in his cot all day.
There was a social worker on staff to chat with at the end of the day. I suppose they’re dealing with sleep-deprived mums and it’s an opportunity for them to see how you’re feeling about the new method of getting your baby to sleep. So I talked to the lady and expressed my concerns firstly being, is this going to cause any harm to my child? “No,” was the answer. “Your child not sleeping is going to cause way more harm than this. Your baby won’t remember this. Your baby wants to sleep but doesn’t know how to do that on his own yet. This will help him get there.”
I expressed another concern, “I guess I also struggle with this a little because I know so many people out there would judge me for allowing my baby to cry. There are so many people that say you shouldn’t do this.” This is a bit of a theme with me. I worry way too much about being judged. “There are one third of babies that are naturally good sleepers,” the lady explained, “another third can be rocked and put down easily and the other third need a lot more help. Those who don’t agree with this probably don’t have the latter.” Good point. She then went on to tell me, “Just don’t tell those people you’re doing it.” :)
Ok. I’m psyched. I can totally do this. It’s going to be hard but it’s for such a good cause. I left the clinic feeling confident and excited. Here’s to better quality for us all!
Little did I know that confidence would be shattered the following morning. :(
Today was awesome! I learned so much about sleep and understand a little of what I have been doing wrong. What a fantastic free resource we have available!
The whole reason I ended up going to a sleep clinic is because my baby, although a great night sleeper, is a shocker when it comes to day sleep. He has never slept well in his cot, if at all. So he’s been sleeping on the go – in the pram, the car, the bouncer (although he’s too big for that now) and in the carrier. Obviously this is not going to work long term. Plus it means I haven’t been getting any down time during the day. Bub needs good quality sleep so it is in everyone’s best interest to get on top of this and early. Otherwise this could be an ongoing issue for years to come. Why wait?
I think my main problem has been failing to recognise the early sleep signs. Poor bub has just been getting more and more tired and therefore it’s been getting harder and harder for him to get to sleep. Apparently he has weeks of sleep to catch up on. I feel bad about that. But I can’t dwell on it. The best thing I can do is take on board the information I learned today and put it to good use.
So what did I learn? That I need to stop clock watching. I’ve been so confused as I’ve read the typical awake time for a six-month-old is about 1.5 to 2 hours. I also know what the sleep signs are on paper such as rubbing eyes, yawning, squealing, jerky movements, and so on. But these signs are usually displayed almost immediately after bub has woken up so I haven’t thought they were reliable. These signs conflict with what is supposed to be his allotted awake time. Even as I write this I feel a little stupid as I now know better, but surely I’m not the only one that has struggled with this conflicting information?!
When the staff at the sleep clinic told me almost immediately upon arrival that my baby was tired even though he slept in the car on the way to the clinic, I couldn’t help but question them. “He’s just had a sleep though.”
“See how his head is dropping and his movements are jerky? He’s ready to go down.”
Oh. Here I was thinking that we’d have two hours of fluffing around while waiting for bub to become tired. But I was there to learn so I gave myself fully to the process and help that was on offer.
The general putting-to-sleep routine taught at the clinic was firstly to act immediately upon seeing the first sleep sign. (They had to go over the sleep signs with me as I had taught myself not to trust them.) Put some calm music on, darken the room, talk to bub in a calm and soothing voice and put him down. There is no special art to it, you just put him down and walk away. He of course cried because he’s not used to that happening. After a little while (five minutes or whatever you can stand) go back in and either pat him, pat the bed or stroke his head – whatever your child tends to respond to. Reassure him in a calm tone saying things like “You’re ok,” and so on. Do that for a bit and then leave the room again. While out of the room, listen to the type of crying and assess your next move based on that. If he continues to scream, then obviously go back in – but after letting him cry a little. It’s important to go in regularly to reassure your child so they know that you are not far away. If it’s just a grizzle then let them keep going. The idea is to continue with this for an hour. An hour!!! Fortunately bub fell asleep just 45 minutes. What a marathon. If bub wakes after only one sleep cycle (that’s all my bub will do during the day), go in and attempt to resettle using the same techniques just mentioned. This time give it 20 minutes before giving up. He never went on to do a second sleep cycle for me while at the clinic L. Then you get bub up for some playtime and start all over again.
While chatting to the nurse and social worker, I expressed that I often doubt my ability to know if bub is tired. “For the time being, if in doubt, put him down,” the lady told me. “Really? Even if he’s only been up for 15 minutes?” I asked. “Well, what’s the worst that could happen if you put him down and he’s not tired,” she questioned? “He’ll scream for an hour.” “Actually, if he’s screaming that means he is tired. If he’s not tired and you put him down he will happily play in his cot on his own.” Well, that actually made sense and gave me some confidence to put him down more often. When he has resisted so strongly in the past I’ve foolishly thought, “I guess I was wrong about him being tired.” Feeling a little stupid for thinking that now.
I was at the clinic all day and I don’t think my child was out of the cot for more than 20 minutes at a time. They explained to me that this will likely continue to be his pattern until he catches up on sleep. Once he’s caught up, then I will learn if he needs more or less sleep than the average baby. But until he’s caught up (how will I know that by the way?) he’s likely to display sleep signs shortly after waking. And I’m going to feel like he’s in his cot all day.
There was a social worker on staff to chat with at the end of the day. I suppose they’re dealing with sleep-deprived mums and it’s an opportunity for them to see how you’re feeling about the new method of getting your baby to sleep. So I talked to the lady and expressed my concerns firstly being, is this going to cause any harm to my child? “No,” was the answer. “Your child not sleeping is going to cause way more harm than this. Your baby won’t remember this. Your baby wants to sleep but doesn’t know how to do that on his own yet. This will help him get there.”
I expressed another concern, “I guess I also struggle with this a little because I know so many people out there would judge me for allowing my baby to cry. There are so many people that say you shouldn’t do this.” This is a bit of a theme with me. I worry way too much about being judged. “There are one third of babies that are naturally good sleepers,” the lady explained, “another third can be rocked and put down easily and the other third need a lot more help. Those who don’t agree with this probably don’t have the latter.” Good point. She then went on to tell me, “Just don’t tell those people you’re doing it.” :)
Ok. I’m psyched. I can totally do this. It’s going to be hard but it’s for such a good cause. I left the clinic feeling confident and excited. Here’s to better quality for us all!
Little did I know that confidence would be shattered the following morning. :(
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