To My Dear Mummy,
I hear you talk about the day I was born to those around me, yet I don't get to tell you about the day I was born through my eyes.
I remember the day so clearly, I was nestled closely into you. I was warm with water surrounding me. I could hear your heart beating through your body. I felt so safe and secure. I could hear your voice as you spoke to me sweet words and sung to me at night. As you walked, it would sway me to sleep. When you ate something yummy, I would jump for joy because I would enjoy it too! I thought this was life...
Then one day I began to feel this tightenings around me, like the walls were caving in. It wasn't too scary at first, but then these compressions began to get stronger. I decided it was best to head south, as I knew upwards wouldn't get me anywhere. These tight compressions began to get really strong.
Then suddenly...I heard a loud 'POP!' all the water was leaving me? I felt so unsure, but I could still hear your heart beating so I knew I was okay. I closed my eyes and trusted you knew what to do.
The compressions continued to get tighter, I felt like I was being squeezed out of you. I could hear you calling out for me, you sounded like you were in pain but I couldn't do anything to help you. I wanted to let you know that I was with you and that you were not alone. I continued to let your body do what was needed, I had to trust you. I had no other option but to go with what seemed natural.
I hear you talk about the day I was born to those around me, yet I don't get to tell you about the day I was born through my eyes.
I remember the day so clearly, I was nestled closely into you. I was warm with water surrounding me. I could hear your heart beating through your body. I felt so safe and secure. I could hear your voice as you spoke to me sweet words and sung to me at night. As you walked, it would sway me to sleep. When you ate something yummy, I would jump for joy because I would enjoy it too! I thought this was life...
Then one day I began to feel this tightenings around me, like the walls were caving in. It wasn't too scary at first, but then these compressions began to get stronger. I decided it was best to head south, as I knew upwards wouldn't get me anywhere. These tight compressions began to get really strong.
Then suddenly...I heard a loud 'POP!' all the water was leaving me? I felt so unsure, but I could still hear your heart beating so I knew I was okay. I closed my eyes and trusted you knew what to do.
The compressions continued to get tighter, I felt like I was being squeezed out of you. I could hear you calling out for me, you sounded like you were in pain but I couldn't do anything to help you. I wanted to let you know that I was with you and that you were not alone. I continued to let your body do what was needed, I had to trust you. I had no other option but to go with what seemed natural.
"...you reached out for me, held me against your warm chest - with tears streaming down your face." | I began to see what I now know to be light, these two warm hands held my shoulders as you pushed one last time. I screamed! I was cold, it was bright! I couldn't smell you! I couldn't feel you! I couldn't hear your heart beating! I wanted to go back! I wanted you! I needed you to survive! That's when you reached out for me, held me against your warm chest - with tears streaming down your face. I breathed your sweet scent. I heard your calming voice. I felt your beautiful heartbeat. I knew I was safe yet again. I was in the safest arms in the world. I know that you felt so much pain, and that you went through so much fear and worry. But I am here now, nestled into your chest. Love me. Hold me. Guide me. For I am yours forever and you are mine. Your loving baby. |
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