What are your qualifications? Do you have the prerequisites for the job? As mothers, there are many roles we now fulfill and this will be added to as our children increase in age and number! Let's explore some of the roles that are required for babies, toddlers and young children below:
Food Fabricator: We are in charge of either producing or creating food. Whether it be making breastmilk, shaking up a bottle of formula, chopping up finger food, blitzing pumpkin into a perfect puree or using all your upper body strength to mash a potato, we are the ones who are responsible for it. And that never ends, no matter how far into their twenties they get (though hopefully they can mash their own food by then!)
Comfort Creator: We are also responsible for making sure our children are positioned in a level of comfort that would rival any royal ruler. They have to be just the right temperature, have the right amount of padding underneath them, have just the right amount of breeze blowing on them, just the right number of stuffed toys within reach. Their tummy has to be at just the right fullness level with their body at ideal hydration. Everything has to be just right and we are supposed to be experts in this area.
Food Fabricator: We are in charge of either producing or creating food. Whether it be making breastmilk, shaking up a bottle of formula, chopping up finger food, blitzing pumpkin into a perfect puree or using all your upper body strength to mash a potato, we are the ones who are responsible for it. And that never ends, no matter how far into their twenties they get (though hopefully they can mash their own food by then!)
Comfort Creator: We are also responsible for making sure our children are positioned in a level of comfort that would rival any royal ruler. They have to be just the right temperature, have the right amount of padding underneath them, have just the right amount of breeze blowing on them, just the right number of stuffed toys within reach. Their tummy has to be at just the right fullness level with their body at ideal hydration. Everything has to be just right and we are supposed to be experts in this area.
Excellent Entertainer: We are required to have a wide repertoire of extremely exciting acts. These acts need to utilise normal, everyday items and be available at the drop of a hat. The repertoire also needs to evolve and change to adjust to the child’s interests, age and boredom level. With this prerequisite, mums are also required to throw any hint of self-respect, dignity (although that’s long since gone) and stage fright out the window. You will be performing in public for the rest of your life, so get over it and embrace it!
Desperate Distracter: We need to have the ability to find a safe, exciting and new distraction that is more interesting than the unsafe, destructive and annoying thing that the child wishes to do. This is one of the most difficult prerequisites because it requires the mum to think on her feet 24/7, full night’s sleep or not! The added difficulty in this prerequisite is that when we have had limited sleep, the child seems to be even more likely to go for the activities that are dangerous or destructive! So these occasions are when we are required to be at our quickest and sharpest. A challenge indeed!
Waste Wiper: One of the most repetitive prerequisites is the art of removing stinky, smeared poo from the bottoms of our children. This would be fine if all children laid perfectly still as we performed this service, but most toddlers do not appreciate the act of removing waste from their bottoms. Mums need to have advanced agility and dexterity to master this skill whilst also ensuring that the surrounding walls, carpet, tiles, parents and other parts of the child remain (relatively) poo free.
Desperate Distracter: We need to have the ability to find a safe, exciting and new distraction that is more interesting than the unsafe, destructive and annoying thing that the child wishes to do. This is one of the most difficult prerequisites because it requires the mum to think on her feet 24/7, full night’s sleep or not! The added difficulty in this prerequisite is that when we have had limited sleep, the child seems to be even more likely to go for the activities that are dangerous or destructive! So these occasions are when we are required to be at our quickest and sharpest. A challenge indeed!
Waste Wiper: One of the most repetitive prerequisites is the art of removing stinky, smeared poo from the bottoms of our children. This would be fine if all children laid perfectly still as we performed this service, but most toddlers do not appreciate the act of removing waste from their bottoms. Mums need to have advanced agility and dexterity to master this skill whilst also ensuring that the surrounding walls, carpet, tiles, parents and other parts of the child remain (relatively) poo free.
"Mums need to have advanced agility and dexterity to master this skill whilst also ensuring that the surrounding walls, carpet, tiles, parents and other parts of the child remain (relatively) poo free."
Continuous Cleaner: Mums are required to provide clean places for children to make dirty again. If crumbs, mashed banana or partially digested bread land on the floor, it is the mother’s job to remove it at the end of the meal, so that during the next meal, there is space for the child to put more rejected food. If the toys are all spread around the playroom, it is the mother’s job to pack them up at the end of the day so that, within 2.4 minutes of the child starting to play the next morning, they can be all back where they started! This concept applies to basically all parts of cleaning.
Clothing Connoisseur: In the job description of a mother, this one becomes one of the most life-controlling elements. We must be continually focused on each and every member of the family having respectable, appropriate and clean clothing, of the approximate right size, to wear. We must be an expert in the domestic art of placing clothes in the washing machine, carrying the basket to the preferred hanging location, hanging them out, waiting an appropriate time to allow sufficient drying, taking them off the preferred hanging line, carrying them back inside, folding them into piles and putting them away. Some lucky clothes may be ironed, but most can be folded in such a way that this is not required. For some of us, all of this must be done whilst one or more “helpers” are present, ensuring that the task takes up far more of your precious time than it ever should!
There are many more prerequisites that we are required to have when facing up to the job of being mother, but remember that in all these tasks, we are providing an upbringing for our children that will help shape the people they are one day. After all, we chose this for ourselves! Let’s laugh about it and embrace the job with the most prerequisites!
Libby :)
Clothing Connoisseur: In the job description of a mother, this one becomes one of the most life-controlling elements. We must be continually focused on each and every member of the family having respectable, appropriate and clean clothing, of the approximate right size, to wear. We must be an expert in the domestic art of placing clothes in the washing machine, carrying the basket to the preferred hanging location, hanging them out, waiting an appropriate time to allow sufficient drying, taking them off the preferred hanging line, carrying them back inside, folding them into piles and putting them away. Some lucky clothes may be ironed, but most can be folded in such a way that this is not required. For some of us, all of this must be done whilst one or more “helpers” are present, ensuring that the task takes up far more of your precious time than it ever should!
There are many more prerequisites that we are required to have when facing up to the job of being mother, but remember that in all these tasks, we are providing an upbringing for our children that will help shape the people they are one day. After all, we chose this for ourselves! Let’s laugh about it and embrace the job with the most prerequisites!
Libby :)
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