Who am I? Yes, I'm a mum, a wife, a sister, a daughter and a friend. But Who am I?
Before I had my children, my identity and self worth was so heavily entrenched in my career as teacher that when I became a mum I felt I lost all sense of self. I struggle with self esteem and self worth at the best of times, so to then loose what I thought was me as a person - a teacher, an educator. To then become a mum? someone who cleans pooey bums, wipes snotty noses and fills hungry tummies.
I remember the day I gave birth to our first baby, I went from being a pregnant teacher to a mum within 8 hours. He was laying there all wrapped up in his bassinet and I thought 'Okay, what now?'. The first three months were immensely difficult to find myself as a person and my self worth. I went back to work later that year doing casual relief work and I found as soon as I stepped back into a classroom - even if it wasn't my subject area, I instantly knew my identity and felt worth again.
However, I am becoming to realise that perhaps it isn't about me having self worth in a career but to find it instead in the big blue eyes that look up at me everyday. The cuddles that are needed when they fall over and hurt themselves. I have realised I have been asking the wrong question, instead who am I to deserve such a previous gift as motherhood? Why me?
Who am I, to be blessed with three beautiful children?
Who am I, to be blessed with receiving morning cuddles from these little people that God has entrusted me with?
Who am I, to be given the opportunity to guide my babies into caring, loving, accepting adults?
I now get it, self worth is not in our career or even the things we buy but instead our self worth is in God and our relationships with our family and friends. Perhaps we should listen to our children more, they seem to have a way of teaching us at times.
The Reflective Mum xx
Before I had my children, my identity and self worth was so heavily entrenched in my career as teacher that when I became a mum I felt I lost all sense of self. I struggle with self esteem and self worth at the best of times, so to then loose what I thought was me as a person - a teacher, an educator. To then become a mum? someone who cleans pooey bums, wipes snotty noses and fills hungry tummies.
I remember the day I gave birth to our first baby, I went from being a pregnant teacher to a mum within 8 hours. He was laying there all wrapped up in his bassinet and I thought 'Okay, what now?'. The first three months were immensely difficult to find myself as a person and my self worth. I went back to work later that year doing casual relief work and I found as soon as I stepped back into a classroom - even if it wasn't my subject area, I instantly knew my identity and felt worth again.
However, I am becoming to realise that perhaps it isn't about me having self worth in a career but to find it instead in the big blue eyes that look up at me everyday. The cuddles that are needed when they fall over and hurt themselves. I have realised I have been asking the wrong question, instead who am I to deserve such a previous gift as motherhood? Why me?
Who am I, to be blessed with three beautiful children?
Who am I, to be blessed with receiving morning cuddles from these little people that God has entrusted me with?
Who am I, to be given the opportunity to guide my babies into caring, loving, accepting adults?
I now get it, self worth is not in our career or even the things we buy but instead our self worth is in God and our relationships with our family and friends. Perhaps we should listen to our children more, they seem to have a way of teaching us at times.
The Reflective Mum xx
RSS Feed