I realise this is a hot topic. The below is simply an account of how my husband and I arrived at a decision. We certainly do not feel that we are an authority on circumcision let alone have the right to tell others what they should or shouldn’t do. At the end of the day, we’re all making decisions for our kids that we believe are in their best interest. So we all have the same motivation even if we make different decisions.
From early on we knew we were having a boy. The decision to circumcise or not didn’t really come up as I had assumed that we would because hubby was. At some point someone asked us and I look at hubby and he said “Oh yeah, for sure.” There was someone in ear shot at the time who was obviously not in favour of this and got a bit worked up asking why we would do such a thing. To be honest, it wasn’t until this point that I realised how hot this topic was. Better keep our decision to ourselves I think. So without really discussing it, we were agreed. Until our child was born that is…
“He’s just so perfect,” my husband said. “Who am I to change anything?” What? WHAT?! Why does he always do this? He can be so indecisive and it drives me nuts! Haven’t we already made this decision? “Ok,” I said calmly. “Maybe we need to think about this some more and maybe do some research.” “Yeah, I’m just not convinced that we should have him circumcised.” So began the process of researching this all a little more.
We asked a nurse about circumcision while we were in the hospital. She had obviously been trained not to tell us what to do yet it was clear to us that she was against it. Giving us such one sided and biased info, we were not satisfied, so she suggested we chat with the pediatrician the next time he came by. We had a very similar conversation with him though. He was giving us all the reasons against and not really any in favour of circumcision. I didn’t appreciate the one sided view we were getting. I thought it was really unprofessional. I’m also suspicious when someone can only see one side of something. It kinda shoots their credibility in the foot.
We left the hospital having not made a decision. My husband spoke with his parents and I spoke with mine. Both our parents were in favour of circumcision and couldn’t understand why we were questioning it. I decided to play a little devil’s advocate. “If we’re Christians and believe that God created us perfectly, then why would we change our bodies in such a permanent way?” I asked my mum. Her response consisted of things such as we have diseases these days that weren’t around back then, hygiene issues etc. All things I had heard before. I was still in favour of circumcision, but I did have some questions as it didn’t make perfect sense to me. My husband asked his mum, “Well what reason did you have for circumcising me?” “Your father wanted you to look like him, but I wanted to do it because as a nurse, I’ve seen what happens to men when they’re older if they don’t take care of it, ” she responded. “Also, cervical cancer and other sexually transmitted diseases are very low in Jewish communities due to circumcision.”
Despite how I felt about it, I told hubby it was his decision. He knew where I stood but as he is the one with the equipment in question, it was his decision.
He felt very strongly that whatever decision he made, it had to be for the right reasons. I guess he would have to answer for it one day and wanted a good solid reason that was in the best interest of our child. “Women have no business having an opinion on circumcision. What do they know?” He asked me all worked up. “It’s like me thinking I can give advice on breast augmentation.” “I agree honey. That’s why I’m leaving this up to you,” I responded. He continued to question, “How can anyone say for or against unless they’ve experienced both? Everyone is biased and can really only talk about the one experience they’ve had. I don’t even know what it’s like to have a foreskin so I don’t know what to do. I need more time.”
Hubby said nothing more about this for a few weeks while I did my best to keep my mouth shut and not bug him about it. I was getting more and more anxious as circumcision is best done when the baby is under three weeks old. It’s really difficult to find someone that will do it after six weeks. The cost is also at its lowest prior to six weeks. Not that the cost is low in any way ($500!) but if we were going to do it, we really didn’t have time to fluff around.
Finally I got the call. Hubby was on a break at work when he called me. “Ok, I’ve made a decision,” he said. By this point, bub was four weeks old so our window of opportunity was getting smaller. “I stumbled across this blog,” he began. He then proceeded to tell me about this guy that grew up uncircumcised and then ended up getting circumcised in his 30s. Having experienced both, I knew hubby would see this guy as a credible source. What stuck out to me from this conversation was that this guy could actually smell uncircumcised men as apparently they have a different smell, no matter how clean they are. Hubby quite liked this blog as a lot of the information he came across prior to this was mostly unsubstantiated facts or highly opinionated (emotional) people whose agenda was to convince and condemn. This guy though, was simply sharing his experience – no fluff, no agenda, no judgment, straight to the point. Based on this information, hubby decided that we would circumcise our son. With confidence we made an appointment to have bub circumcised.
For those interested, this is the above mentioned blog: http://www.circinfo.net/men_circumcised_as_adults_tell_it_as_it_is.html.
From early on we knew we were having a boy. The decision to circumcise or not didn’t really come up as I had assumed that we would because hubby was. At some point someone asked us and I look at hubby and he said “Oh yeah, for sure.” There was someone in ear shot at the time who was obviously not in favour of this and got a bit worked up asking why we would do such a thing. To be honest, it wasn’t until this point that I realised how hot this topic was. Better keep our decision to ourselves I think. So without really discussing it, we were agreed. Until our child was born that is…
“He’s just so perfect,” my husband said. “Who am I to change anything?” What? WHAT?! Why does he always do this? He can be so indecisive and it drives me nuts! Haven’t we already made this decision? “Ok,” I said calmly. “Maybe we need to think about this some more and maybe do some research.” “Yeah, I’m just not convinced that we should have him circumcised.” So began the process of researching this all a little more.
We asked a nurse about circumcision while we were in the hospital. She had obviously been trained not to tell us what to do yet it was clear to us that she was against it. Giving us such one sided and biased info, we were not satisfied, so she suggested we chat with the pediatrician the next time he came by. We had a very similar conversation with him though. He was giving us all the reasons against and not really any in favour of circumcision. I didn’t appreciate the one sided view we were getting. I thought it was really unprofessional. I’m also suspicious when someone can only see one side of something. It kinda shoots their credibility in the foot.
We left the hospital having not made a decision. My husband spoke with his parents and I spoke with mine. Both our parents were in favour of circumcision and couldn’t understand why we were questioning it. I decided to play a little devil’s advocate. “If we’re Christians and believe that God created us perfectly, then why would we change our bodies in such a permanent way?” I asked my mum. Her response consisted of things such as we have diseases these days that weren’t around back then, hygiene issues etc. All things I had heard before. I was still in favour of circumcision, but I did have some questions as it didn’t make perfect sense to me. My husband asked his mum, “Well what reason did you have for circumcising me?” “Your father wanted you to look like him, but I wanted to do it because as a nurse, I’ve seen what happens to men when they’re older if they don’t take care of it, ” she responded. “Also, cervical cancer and other sexually transmitted diseases are very low in Jewish communities due to circumcision.”
Despite how I felt about it, I told hubby it was his decision. He knew where I stood but as he is the one with the equipment in question, it was his decision.
He felt very strongly that whatever decision he made, it had to be for the right reasons. I guess he would have to answer for it one day and wanted a good solid reason that was in the best interest of our child. “Women have no business having an opinion on circumcision. What do they know?” He asked me all worked up. “It’s like me thinking I can give advice on breast augmentation.” “I agree honey. That’s why I’m leaving this up to you,” I responded. He continued to question, “How can anyone say for or against unless they’ve experienced both? Everyone is biased and can really only talk about the one experience they’ve had. I don’t even know what it’s like to have a foreskin so I don’t know what to do. I need more time.”
Hubby said nothing more about this for a few weeks while I did my best to keep my mouth shut and not bug him about it. I was getting more and more anxious as circumcision is best done when the baby is under three weeks old. It’s really difficult to find someone that will do it after six weeks. The cost is also at its lowest prior to six weeks. Not that the cost is low in any way ($500!) but if we were going to do it, we really didn’t have time to fluff around.
Finally I got the call. Hubby was on a break at work when he called me. “Ok, I’ve made a decision,” he said. By this point, bub was four weeks old so our window of opportunity was getting smaller. “I stumbled across this blog,” he began. He then proceeded to tell me about this guy that grew up uncircumcised and then ended up getting circumcised in his 30s. Having experienced both, I knew hubby would see this guy as a credible source. What stuck out to me from this conversation was that this guy could actually smell uncircumcised men as apparently they have a different smell, no matter how clean they are. Hubby quite liked this blog as a lot of the information he came across prior to this was mostly unsubstantiated facts or highly opinionated (emotional) people whose agenda was to convince and condemn. This guy though, was simply sharing his experience – no fluff, no agenda, no judgment, straight to the point. Based on this information, hubby decided that we would circumcise our son. With confidence we made an appointment to have bub circumcised.
For those interested, this is the above mentioned blog: http://www.circinfo.net/men_circumcised_as_adults_tell_it_as_it_is.html.
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